Sunday, May 11, 2014

NBC's Constantine Trailer Promises More of the Same


So the trailer for the new NBC series Constantine is out:





Now I need to be clear here: I hate every second of it. Just everything, from the fact that we're getting yet another genre show about a Very Important Dude and the incompetent lady Muggle he drags around right up to the bit where I yell at my screen that ECT does not work that way! You hacks!


It's only partially because I'm a rabid fangirl for Hellblazer, a series that is so deeply rooted in the disillusionment and bitterness of the post-Thatcher era and the subcultures it birthed that it might just be the number one contender for Comic Least Fit For PG-13 Americanization this side of Lost Girls. (Wait, hang on, can Constantine even smoke on TV? Because I'm going to laugh forever if Constantine can't smoke on TV. Can they show the filthy, filthy bathroom sex? Do the cussing? Can they even say "hell" on NBC? I'm not from here.)

Anyway, it's mostly not that.

It's the woman in the fridge.

It's the shrieking, incompetent woman he keeps grabbing and literally drags around by her wrist while she looks befuddled, because her dad said to do so.

It's the demons he apparently fights, who are just evil demons, not a metaphor for the tug of war between progress and regression that lurks in the hearts of men, rooted in thoughtless extremism, fear and misplaced loyalty. Just, you know, generic demons.

It's the fact that I'm pretty sure this show is going to throw people with psychological disorders under the bus like whoa. (Seriously, ECT does not work that way.)

Hellblazer is filthy. It's complex and gutwrenching and often morally ambiguous. It makes complex political statements and isn't scared to make its protagonist genuinely unlikable. That's what I like about it. If I wanted to see a show about a wise-cracking but acceptably broken superdude on a road trip, where ladies get fridged and damseled and nominally cool dudes run around killing generic demons who are evil because evil is what evil does, I'd watch Supernatural.

Hold on.

Back the fuck up.

Caustic dude in a beige trenchcoat running around killing demons, being bossed around by an angel while incompetent women shriek in the background?

Is this the Castiel spin-off?

Because I'll watch the hell out of a Castiel spin-off.



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